The loneliness of a long-distance worker

This isn’t going to be a lament to how difficult it can be arriving in a new country as someone who is expected to fit right into a new environment and how in the time spent outside that environment- geared as it is mostly around work- it can be difficult to adjust to living a ‘normal’ lifestyle (at least I am conscious that it shouldn’t turn into that ;-). Its purpose is more to try and articulate something that I was struggling with today and that I tried to articulate to my fellow colleagues (who are practically my only social contact at present).

I guess I could sum it up best by saying that beginning a new long-term job in an alien country for a small company makes it hard to quickly find and get into a, ahem, life-rhythm (I told you I was trying to articulate it today, obviously coining terms to define abstract concepts is not my strong point). One of the hardest things is that you practically start from square one when you arrive. You know very little about how simple things operate in the country- how people buy their vegetables, what the deal with phone contracts are, how the public transport system operates. Sometimes these things are close enough to what you know to make the transition simple, but most often they aren’t. There are of course ways of making the transition a little easier, as in most countries there exists some “western” equivalent: think shopping malls, and taxis for two of the above examples- I can’t think of one for the mobiles. What I’m trying to say is that these things can be solved, but they aren’t really long-term solutions. They are also a long way removed from what the locals would do, which is another reason for trying to avoid these easy solutions and “do what the locals would do”.

That’s certainly what I attempt to do as soon as I arrive in a new country- I find it helps me fall into the afore-mentioned rhythm much quicker, and achieve one of the goals of working in a “developing” country (although don’t try and tell Indians that their country is still a developing one- they’ll point you towards the number of millionaires/billionaires and the fact that two of the richest 10 men in the world are Indians, and heads of giant corporations). That goal, at least for me, is to find the positive differences from the life you are used to, and embrace them. That’s a little difficult when your daily rhythm includes as many things about home as possible. One, it’s is hard to maintain when the rest of the society lives differently, and secondly, it’s a little artificial.

Perhaps describing my personal situation would help the understanding a little easier. I tried in vain to find a bedroom in a house or apartment that was already inhabited by a few others- like a share-house. The reason being that I thought it would take care of things like I mentioned above- how do to some of the everyday things that make life a little simpler, without having to ring someone up or bother the landlord. Those requests are part of any natural learning process in a new city- but made more difficult when you don’t have someone available there to answer them. Secondly, purely for the added company at the end of a work day, sitting down to eat together once in a while- look, I don’t have to explain to you the advantages/disadvantages of share-housing, but perhaps you can understand how they are a little more valuable when moving to a new city in a new country. At the very least you have an instant circle of acquaintances, and most of the time it doesn’t take long before you can call at least some of them friends. The situation that you all find yourselves in makes that transition much easier.

For whatever reason that didn’t work out, and I know now that that *function* that a share-house would have provided is basically what I am missing at the moment. Moving into a new flat means you start from scratch. I at least have some furniture, but nothing else. No food, no cleaning stuff, not enough power points, some utensils, etc. It’s not a living area at the moment, it’s a hotel room. Even when you head off to the supermarket, you are trying to buy things as if starting a life from scratch- you of course have not sugar, flour, oil, salt; but also no spices, tea, coffee, washing up liquid, washing up sponges, mop, broom, tea towel… etc. And you get perhaps one or two chances to do this shopping because of course you’re also working. It doesn’t sound too much- and it really isn’t, but… let me try another tack.

Here the cooking is done with gas, and that means getting a gas bottle. My gas bottle I left half-open (half-open means open at the bottle attachment, off at the stove, and it leaks) when I was away for the last week, and all the gas ran out. So I needed to get it changed. So, what do I do? Landlord problem? I guessed yes, so I asked him (he lives below me). He, probably wanting to avoid doing any more work than possible, told me to ask my boss, who now conveniently for him, lives only a few houses away. Or he said you could just go down the market and get it filled. But the market is a couple of km’s away, and I don’t really want to carry a gas bottle that far. Besides, the market’s a big place, and I have no idea where the fill station is. And isn’t there someone to do these kind of jobs? I’ve seen motorbikes loaded with about 6 gas bottles at the same time, putting from house-blocks to get filled. Can’t I just get one of those numbers and call them up? Here’s the crux of what I’m trying to say. Everyone knows that this *can* be simply done- so as a simple job they don’t pay too much attention to my concern that I *need* it done. But they also don’t tell me how I can do it simply myself- they either want to do it for me (but don’t have the time right now), or they tell me to ask someone else (which I guess I have to do every time I need a simple job done). And even if they do have the time today, what happens the next time I need the same thing done- ask them to do it again? Just tell me how to do it once, give me a phone number, direct me to the shop, and I can take care of it this time, and the next twenty times.

So a simple job gets a little more complicated, just because I don’t have this knowledge on how to get things done. It’s not a big deal, and this isn’t a complaint, it’s simply trying to give you an idea of how this feels to me at the moment. It’s not allowing me to get into a rhythm of living, and that makes me uncomfortable. That was it is- some discomfort, nothing more.